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[09 Mar 2008|06:53pm] |
my fish died. i got health insurance. i didn't get mt fedex promotion. chelsea briele moved into the apt with ben, ryan and i. i am not stressed. i am going to get another job. heavy. jermaine. tim.
i want to go home and see the new house my parents got. i have my own room. sweet.
nothing much is going on...not enough artwork that's for sure.
i can't believe peirce still updates this bullshit every hour.
i wish i would forget the password hahaha
call me.
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[21 Feb 2008|05:42pm] |
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i am going to be 21 on sunday.
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[17 Feb 2008|08:32pm] |
no one seems to want to listen to me lately.
i can't wait to stop being here. i never thought i would say it but it's true. philadelphia has lost it's charm. i have discovered everything and now i am back at square one. hell, it taks a herd of rhinos to get me out of the house. all i ever want to do is sleep and paint. paint and sleep. and to be left the fuck alone.
i am going home to maryland during the summer, simple as that. and if i come back, well...that depends on how summer goes. i'm not too worried considering i never think that far ahead. hell i could be dead in the next hour.
i just know i need to stop what i am doing because it obviously isn't working. no one loves me the way i need or want them to. no one appreciates each other and hell, i am am surrounded by is HASSLE. and if you have ever met me it's all about NO hassle. assholes of this world, get it together.
wish me luck. things are going to get ugly. plus spring is coming. good weather means i do what the fuck i want when i want with who i want where i want and how i want. fuck you too.
xoxox, ronica
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[27 Jan 2008|08:58pm] |
cutting people out of my life. if you want to stay in it, prove you are worth it.
i love life because chelsea and ryan are seeing marilyn manson at the electric factory (our own personal convert venue 2 blocks from my sweet ass philly apt). and i work at fedex and pay my own bills. and i have great sex and get drunk whenever i want. and i will be 21 in like a month and i am so fucking excited. and we are going to have a show and i am going to make money and i get taxes back and ben and seth are coming home tonight and everyone is great and people come and see me and i smoke alot of weed and i could care less if you love me. amy winehouse was sent to me by jesus himself. i love bethany and i can't wait until she comes to see me. i am getting my nose pierced. ryan psota lives with me now and we have new fish. one is malakai, and the other one is gallison named after john kilian's roomate. smoke hooka and watch planet earth. it's the secret to life. o and chad bought me a new sketchbook which means ronica is an artist. come over and dance with me. i'll make you dinner. i love jennifer higgins. and laura d, duh.
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[08 Dec 2007|06:40pm] |
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for peirce, madeleine, janeen, tiana, especially laura d, and all those others that update frequently...here is an update from the one and only. just to let you know i am livin' it up and i am not dead in the city.
i am so glad it's december. things are coming to an end or a beginning so to speak and i am so fucking excited about life. i went job hunting today and i still work at fed ex and i love it. i am still in love with ben isaiah and ben harris and things are well with the apartment. my new roomie matt isn't the most delicious of roomates but he is better than none. i spend too much time with ryan psota and not enough time with chelsea. i don't really like getting drunk anymore. i also think i am going to stop smoking. i am IN LOVE with a white boy that doesn't want us to get closer. i haven't had sex in about 45 days and yes, i am most sexually frustrated. i have painted and painted some more and i can't wait to sell everything on my wall. yes, a show is coming. i miss madeleine alot. she probably doesn't realize how much i loved her being around but i would give my eyelashes to see her. weekends suck because everyone works. i have a crush on a 6'4" black man that used to play semi-pro football and only uses magnum xls. hahahaha, for you peirce for you. i wish someone would come and visit during the holiday season because i am only going to be in md for like 4 days. i am still tattoo-less and i can't get anyone to talk me into dying my hair blonder. fuck. i only listen to amy winehouse, counting crows, citizen cope, and the format. i haven't seen chad since nov 8th. i am not afraid of escalators anymore. i drink too much coffee. bethany and i basically don't talk. my parents and i are closer than usual. it has been snowing alot and i want xmas to be over so i can turn 21. i am staying up late tonight and thinking about you. xoxoxo
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[10 Nov 2007|05:04pm] |
fuck chad scheifele. and nick, taylor, and jonathan you can tell him i said it on livejournal. and you can read it to him while brandon ripley sucks him off. asshole.
doing real good though, happy early thanksgiving. madeleine call me, fuck.
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[14 Oct 2007|11:11am] |
funny how 3 days in a row all by myself can put me back together. i had some loose ends that needd to be tied up and now i think i am okay. i need to be strong because i am about to let some people go. and that is never an easy task. i don't want them around me. i don't need the hassle. i just want to read Weaveworld and listen to my neat little shuffle ipod ben gave me. i want to paint on the new canvas that is hanging on my wall and drink tea. i want to enjoy fall with or without you. with you would be nice, just leave the bullshit at home. i am done with mine, please don't bring me any more.
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[13 Oct 2007|12:01pm] |
i have always wondered if people really did plan to "fade to black" and how that went for them. i have been thinking about this for quite some time now, leaving and never coming back. i read novels about people crossing the country and becoming new people. and i watch movies where people make new friends and never call the people that were supposed to love them unconditionally. and the thing is i have some conditions, which means i have less friends than i had last week.
i love madeleine. and janeen. and chelsea, even though i have a feeling she is never coming back. i miss ben isaiah more than i have ever missed anyone. i wish i could be where he is right now. and chad loves me but he doesn't know me. and then ben and matt bring me happiness but they could care less about the harm i bring upon myself. i am forever lonely.
but i think i have come to the conclusion that it isn't going to change. and that's okay. i will read and paint and walk the streets without a single purpose. to live i suppose, to make sure i don't waste my breath and energy on others when i could just use it for me. in the end it will be okay...i can't move to california, not sure if i want to. but i need to not be around the people i have been around. i am going to stop answering my phone because i feel obligated. hell, if laura d calls me i am picking up. or peirce or sanne or anna or those people i never gave a real chance to. they are the ones that are still around, even though i never see them. funny how things work out. hey to emily, glad you are okay dollface.
listen to citizen cope's second album the clarence greenwood recordings.
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[07 Oct 2007|11:40am] |
i am going to outfest, portia wants girls to hit on me...hope i am cute enough. shit if i can't keep a black man what makes her think i can even pick up a woman? lol happy sunday
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[03 Oct 2007|12:14pm] |
i saw a car on fire today.
and found out that ben isaiah's favorite cd of all time is also my new roomie matt's...how ironic is that.
last night was FABULOUS. i had ryan, fran, matt, and ben here with me. we drank beer, smoked, watched Red Dragon and had a little mini creative art fest. then matt sang to us and him and ryan were jammin and it was the best night ever. (well at least in the last week or so)
if anyone is wondering i am going through some major changes in my life. the seasons have brought so much motivation and inspiration. i ain't got time for bullshit no mo'.
oh bright melodies of mine, love.
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[30 Sep 2007|02:29pm] |
i had such an overwhelming weekend. i am so glad it's over. portia baby and i had a great time yesterday at the water. she is one of my favorite people of all time. and then we watched city of god and went to a party. i had a great time hanging out with white bitches that i know i will hate sober. but, then vince came over and we had a good time. we talked and talked about stuff. and this morning i laughed so hard and cried too. i miss my mama and daddy. i am so going home. i have to get away from here.
anthony is coming over so we can watch moobies together. yaya. i miss him.
i miss you too. xoxo
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[28 Sep 2007|08:42pm] |
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every man i have ever honestly truly wanted never wanted me back. i don't know why i thought this one would be different.
the library says i lost the harry potter book on tape and now i owe them $60. fuuuuuuck that. i ain't got that shit. lol i hate harry for causing me this misery.
matthew and ben went away this weekend. and ryan. and chelsea works all week. and madeleine. i am going to be so bored.
jenny higgins is in spain. ben is going there too. i am obviously missing out on life. no school, no foreign lands, no new boys to kiss...
the studio is fucking with me and i am no long putting my stuff up. i want to cry. grr.
i miss family and janeen. i just hate fucking md sometimes. maybe next weekend.
happy fucking friday and the pic below is dedicated to the one and only PEIRCE LOUISE KEA NINJA.
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[18 Sep 2007|08:06pm] |
i have been hanging out with ryan psota alot lately. he's like my little brother that lets me be me without any hassle. i thought me and vince would be more than what we are but apparently things don't happen the way you want in this life. i like going to work at night because every night is an adventure. and going to chelsea's to see her and portia and lo is such a treat. i have been sketching and painting and reading and writing because i can't think about ben isaiah not being there. i cried so hard on sunday. i thought i was going to pass out, literally faint because i was crying so hard. but he called me last night and i talked to him today. i also thought really hard about going back to schol and i'm gonna go get my passport so i can see him and travel whereever he goes. he really is my best friend and i can't not see him for long periods of time. things are okay, things are well. i am listening to my ipod ben gave me and i drink coffee with lots and lots of sugar. oh, and the sex i am having is the best i have ever had. thank the earth for black men. oh, and the weed ain't been bad...or that beer that makes my belly big. happy go go go lucky. i might go home this weekend. maybe not because the indian festival is on saturday....
good night.
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[08 Sep 2007|07:07pm] |
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"you black muthafuckahhhhhhh!!!"
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[04 Sep 2007|08:26pm] |
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i want everyone to know that i am doing so fucking good. i am listening to MIA and dancing with Ryan J. PSOTA. And everything just makes sense. Bethany is here and we are going to celebrate her birthday tomorrow along with Ben's. And i love my FedEx job and i have no men holding me down. I haven't been sick and every day the sun shines. i been smoking with ease and drinkin' beers. watching good movies like Banquet and i started a new painting. everything is okay. i have big goals that no one knows about but that's okay. i ain't got to prove myself to no damn body. happy earth mama, happy earth papa. good god life is good.
febreze, chad, scum lords, madeleine's radio show, mos def, west philly rock parties, underground hip hop, african pride, good sex, poetry...fall is coming, so let me hit that.
hahaha, seasons are changing...we all know what this means. peace in all my worlds.
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[08 Aug 2007|02:15pm] |
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hey remember when i hated my life. well guess what...now i don't. i am so fuckin' good right now. come over to my house if you want. i want to play scrabble and drink a 40.
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[03 Aug 2007|03:14pm] |
oh shit,
and PEIRCE LOUISE KEA, seeing you was the whipped cream and cherry on top of my summer. i simply loathe not being next to you. lol, nothing but love for ya
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[03 Aug 2007|03:07pm] |
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Dear Friends and Family(this includes you),
If your name is chelsea: I love you with all the sugar in my body. and if i could pick anyone to travel to thailand with and swim with jellyfish or learn voodoo it would be you. i am terribly terribly jealous of portia and lo and especially tara. i am forever yours, i am sorry i was mad. i can't control things right now. there is so much going on that you don't know about. i miss you, i hope you are well.
if your name is bethany: you are coming to philly, even if i have to build you a mudhut that fits in my art trunk. i love you so much.
and if your janeen, these words don't need to be said but will be said anyway. you and only you can save me from me. that's crazy. i love you and miss you too.
madeleine, i am so mad at you for never telling me when you are here. i need to watch cable and eat hot dogs with someone called you. plus, my captain morgan jar is full of haiku...we need to break it open! xoxo
hey laurabella sweet lady , how is your summer? glad you are good too. ps, my roomie ben isaiah thinks you are the cutest thing.
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[06 Jul 2007|02:55pm] |
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i and swimming in poetry and writing until my hands are sore. i painted for a little while and watching too many chick flicks. i am going to make lots of artwork because i have a feeling i will be rewarded with inspiration tonight...with or without friends. wish me luck, i am trying to be impressive.
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[05 Jul 2007|02:54pm] |
home alone for the next 4 days. someone come over please.
first friday is tomorrow and i am off. someone come over and go with me please.
i cleaned my room and we could watch fern gully. (hint hint come over please)
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